“What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus!”

Most anyone who grew up in a Southern Baptist church knows the song. It’s in every hymn book. It’s been re-recorded by many artists. It’s one of those songs that immediately makes you nostalgic. For those of you who only have been in contemporary worship services, just think of wooden pews, a piano (and maybe an organ), and everyone holding a hymnal. The song leader is standing on the podium, the worship team is a choir behind him. Your Mawmaw is probably in the choir, and if she’s not, your mom definitely is. Those kinds of worship services are rare now. Don’t get me wrong, I love contemporary worship. There’s just something about going back to the basics that stirs my heart.

Forrest Frank & Lecrae have a more contemporary version out right now of “Nothing but the Blood”. There’s a link to it at the end of this post. It’s been out since last year, but I just heard it a few days ago. If you’re a fan of Christian hip-hop/rap, I think you’ll like it. As I was listening to it the other night, the lyrics hit me as if I’d never heard the hymn before, specifically “What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus!” Maybe it was because it’s been a while since I’ve heard the song. Maybe it was because Forrest Frank and Lecrae put it to a contemporary beat. Maybe it was because the Lord knew I needed a reminder of His faithfulness. Probably a combination of it all.

The first part of that verse, “What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus!”, has been a steady truth in my life from a very young age. Being raised in the church, knowing Jesus from a young age, and having parents who reinforced Biblical teachings at home all ensured that I had a firm grasp on what salvation truly means. That second part, though, rang more true than ever before. Thinking about it now, I have chills all over again. My heart swells with joy, and my soul is at peace. Before now, I don’t think I understood what being made whole again would mean for me.

The last year of my life has been the most challenging, yet. I won’t go into the details. This would become a novel and not a blog. The short version is that basically every single aspect of my life was uprooted and flipped at one time or another. Some at the same time, some on their own. I am not sure I would know myself from a year ago if I met her today. Without Jesus and my support system of family and a few friends, it would have broken me.

It has also been one of the most fruitful. I have been molded, challenged, and changed from the inside out.

I have made new friends, friends that pour into our friendship but also understand what it means to be a full-time working mom.

I am working to restore broken relationships.

I am learning to set boundaries.

I’ve learned the importance of self-care, both physically and mentally.

Doors have been opened that have led to life-changing opportunities, the newest starting on July 2nd.

Doors have closed, but not without a peace of understanding washing over me.

I am finally in a routine.

My daughter is settled and thriving.

I don’t feel as if I’m in a never-ending cycle of chaos.

My faith has been renewed.

I have been made whole again, just as the song says.

Each one of these things is monumental, at least to me, and only happened because of the grace of God. 

Am I perfect? Absolutely not. Is each day perfect? Of course not. We live in a broken world full of broken people, myself included. Despite the trials that come, I’m learning to see the good in each day. I’m learning not to become overwhelmed with the small things and to hand everything over to God. I’m learning to TRUST, above all, that the Lord will provide for me. 

But He said to me “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”. 

2 Corinthians 12:9

Listen to “Nothing but the Blood” by Forrest Frank and Lecrae here.